The Four Agreements

This is a paper I was required to write on the Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz for my job:

As a society, humans have been programmed a certain way by parents, media, politicians, etc., to think, feel and react a certain way to life. These reactions and thoughts are the result of a misguided perception of the world we live in. Don Miguel Ruiz, a shamanic teacher, illustrates in The Four Agreements that the reason we live with such programming is because due to the way we were brought up, we adopt miniscule beliefs, or agreements, that begin to rule our minds. To break our preconceived agreements, Ruiz has portrayed four new agreements to adopt into our lives; be impeccable with your word, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions and always do your best.
Gossip, lies and manipulation are all ways that we’ve been taught to communicate. And with good reason, they get us what we need in that moment in time. But no one bothers to mention the emptiness and misery we feel later on. Being impeccable with your word is the first agreement Ruiz writes on. Impeccable means to be without sin. To speak with impeccability is to speak with integrity. Our word holds more power than we are aware of. It can create and it can destroy. This first agreement introduces the principle of integrity. To be able to hold your head high with what you speak. We interact with millions of people throughout our life, some of which we will never see but for one moment. If we do not speak with integrity as best we can, we may be spreading emotional poison to innocent bystanders. You may be the only beacon of light in someone’s day, and to spread emotional poison with your word is just cruel. Ruiz writes of using the power of your word only for truth and love. I truly believe this is a vital cornerstone of anyone’s happiness. I do not believe authentic happiness exists with gossip, lies or manipulation.
I have heard all my life, “Don’t take things personally.” But why? It’s not as easy as it sounds. Ruiz goes into detail about why we shouldn’t take things personally. All throughout my life, I have taken things personally. This person is talking to me, how can I not take it personally? When we say things, it is an outward expression of our internal condition, their own reality. It has absolutely nothing to do with the other person. If someone says they hate me, it is not me they hate; it is themselves or something about their life that they hate. It is the same if someone says they love me. If I say I love someone, it is not them I love; it is something about them that brings out my love for myself. Once we learn to not take anything personally, we become impervious to others’ emotional poison. The unnecessary misery and suffering resulting from the words and actions of others will come to a screeching halt.
Assumptions get people in trouble more than anything else, in my opinion. The stereotypical husband on a family vacation refuses to ask for directions, therefore taking the family on a needless four hour detour. He assumes he knows the way and because of fear instilled in him by his own personal agreements, he does not ask questions and is inevitably lost. The sooner we muster up the courage to stop making assumptions and start asking direct questions, the more clearly we will see our world. In my experience, it is the human condition that creates the craving for chaos and drama, no matter how much pain it may cause. Communicating clearly and asking questions about what we want and need to know will revolutionize every single relationship in our lives. Without making assumptions, we can dissolve the chaos, drama and the craving for it.
As a child, my mentors and teachers always told me to “give it your best”. And I always did, so I thought. It was not until I first read The Four Agreements that I realized what they had been telling me. Doing your best means more than just doing something well. It means to take pride in every single task that you take on. And in doing so, you will do your best. Ruiz describes a shift in what our best may be. He conveys that our best will change from each moment to the next and we cannot expect any more or any less than what we are capable of at that moment. In always doing our best, we will begin to enjoy everyday errands more. We will no longer be looking at the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or the paycheck. We will want to do things because we genuinely enjoy doing them. The person most condemnatory of me is I. If I understand and adopt this agreement into my life, I can lay that critic to rest.
The human race has been plagued by fear, selfishness, dishonesty and judgment, most of these against ourselves. Breaking our old agreements and beliefs and incorporating acts of loving-kindness into lives in the only key to legitimate happiness. Ruiz portrays four agreements which will help start to transfigure the way we view ourselves and others. I began implementing these agreements a couple of years ago, and I can attest to the power of them. We owe it to the Universe and to ourselves to start living a life full of love and integrity.